The Botheration of Severus Snape
by Elphabella1122
Summary: Mary-Jane Andrews is fed up of her potions teacher. What does she do? Why, bother him, of course! First story; enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**

**Harry: Elphabella1122 does not own any of the Harry Potter Characters!**

**Hermione: Nor, does she own any of the settings. Only the plot line!**

**Elphabella1122: Well done! WELL DONE! Here's a nice little treat... Good girl. Good boy!**

**-------------------------------The Botheration of Snape---------------------------------------------**

Mary-Jane (I made her up) POV:

My friend and I were having a conversation. It included very a important matter: Severus Snape.

"Do you think he's ever happy?" my friend, Mirelle, asked as the man in question strode past us, his black robes billowing behind him.

"About what?" I asked back. "I can't see what he has to be happy about, with his hatred of Harry Potter, and Neville blowing up his cauldron half the time."

"It's just a thought," she concluded, shrugging. "We never see him smile--unless it's a smirk, which is NOT a pleasant thing to see--or laugh for that--" She suddenly stopped.

"What?" I said.

"MJ," she said, a smile tugging at her lips, "laughing."

"What?" I said again, looking at her cautiously.

The smile was full on her face now. "I have just come up with the most brilliant plan in the entire universe," she explained bluntly.

"What?" I said for the third time. Before I could say any more, she grabbed my hand and started to run down the hall--the direction Snape was walking.

A few seconds later, we spotted him, walking quite slowly now, for reasons I still don't know. Mirelle hid us behind a pillarish torch thing, and turned to me.

"I dare you to annoy him," she said to me. I stared at her blankly, then in horror. "Oh, come on, MJ, it'll be fun!"

"Are you insane?" I said. "I could get detention!"

"It's not like you don't already," she countered. I frowned. "Come on," she begged. "It'll be awesome."

I thought about it for a moment, then smiled. "You're on," I said. Mirelle jumped up and down and giggled.

I walked from the hiding place, heading towards Snape. When I was a few yards away, I put my plan into action.

I paused for a second, trying to put on my most shocked expression. "Professor Snape!" I haf-shouted, "your robes are on fire!"

"What?! Where--?" he shouted. He looked up for a millisecond, but I ran like hell before he could look anymore.

I got back to where Mirelle was. "That was awesome!" she told me, giving me a high-five and laughing. "His reaction was priceless!"

"We have to do something like that again!" I suggested, laughing hysterically.

"Oh, we will," Mirelle answered, a malicious glint in her eye. "We will..."

**----------------**

**How do you like our first Fan Fiction? Review away!!!!!**

**Note from the author: Hi! I'm Elphabella's friend and I asked her to put this up for me. I am not J.K. Rowling, so I don't own any of these either. This is MY first fanfic, so I hope you enjoy it! Cheers!(I am not English, by the way) **


	2. Bothering using other methods

**Hermione: According to legal rules, Elphabella1122 will never own any of the Harry Potter characters! She only owns Mirelle and Mary-Jane**

"What do you think a pumpkin means?" Mirelle asked as we walked to our next class.

"Don't ask me," I replied. "She keeps on finding death omens in my cup."

We had just finished our second class, Divination, exiting with less knowledge than we had entered with. For some reason, Professor Trelawney kept on finding vegetable-related items in Mirelle's tealeaves, while finding a Grim at every angle in mine.

"But onto more serious matters," Mirelle said, grinning evilly. "What to do with our dear Professor Snape?"

"Ah," I said, nodding. "I've been thinking about that, and I have come up with the greatest plan ever." She stared at me intently. "Time for my Muggle genius!" Her stare turned into utter bewilderment. I rolled my eyes, and whispered my great plan into her ear. Her face lit up. "That's perfect!" she said, and we set off to Charms.

Over the next three periods we silently rehearsed our plan, and by the time lunch came, we were ready.

We were heading towards the Great Hall to eat, when we spotted Snape, conversing with another teacher. Judging by their hand motions, they were nearly finished talking.

I nudged Mirelle in the stomach. It was our time to shine.

We walked down the hall, where a fairly large group of students were standing, and started in with our plan.

"Hi, I'm Harry Potter," I announced in a horrible English accent. Some heads turned to me.

"And I am Ron," Mirelle chorused.

"Let's go bother Snape," I suggested to her.

"Righto!" she agreed. Some giggles went through the group of students.

We set off down the hall, where Snape had already finished his conversation with his fellow teacher. Most of the students followed behind, curious as to what we were going to do next. Very silently, we crept behind Snape, and started the main attraction.

We started shoving him on both sides. "Bother! Bother! Bother!" We punctuated every shove with a "Bother!" The other kids seemed to be enjoying it.

"Ow!" Snape cried. "What the—"

"BOTHER! BOTHER! BOTHER!" We intensified the Bothering.

"MISS ANDREWS!" Snape bellowed. Time to go. I sprinted down the hall, Mirelle following, leaving a dumbfounded Snape and a crowd of laughing students behind.

Mirelle and I ran down the numerous corridors, until we finally found ourselves at a faded green wooden door, with a plaque that proclaimed "GIRLS" in chipped gold letters. We pushed the door open and bolted into the bathroom. As soon as the door shut, we burst our laughing, unable to stop.

"Th-that was hilarious!" I shouted, nearly suffocating from laughing.

Mirelle doubled over, almost falling to the ground. "His face!" she shrieked, and we continued to laugh hysterically.

"Getting into trouble again, are we girls?" inquired a girl's high, breathy voice out of one of the cubicles.

"Hey, Myrtle," I greeted, pausing to breathe. Out of the cubicle floated the ghost of a girl of about twelve. Her short hair was tied up in little pigtails, and she was wearing Harry Potter-like glasses; the ghost of Moaning Myrtle.

She floated down to where we were standing. "What did you do this time?" she asked with the air of one commenting on the weather. We told her the whole story, from beginning to end.

"So, annoying Snape again, are we?" she muttered once we had finished. "Well, back to the old routines, then…"

"What do you mean, 'old routines'?" Mirelle asked her. "People have bothered Snape before?"

"Oh, yes," Myrtle answered, nodding. "Many times. One time this idiot in the eighties found a Muggle tape-recorder and recorded himself saying, 'Professor Snape is an ugly git and I don't know how he ever became a teacher,' and Sonorus-ed it around the entire school. He was given a three-month detention with Filch," she finished, a hint of sympathy in her voice.

"Insane," I breathed, "but brilliant."

"Hey," Mirelle said suddenly, "what if we go around singing Muggle songs around him? He'll be annoyed, but he'll have no idea what we're talking about."

"Cool!" I agreed. I turned back to Myrtle. "I'll come back later," I told her, "to tell you how it goes." She smiled, and Mirelle and I marched out of the bathroom to lunch. Ghosts could be really nice company at times.

Lunch was spectacular, as usual. It still amazed me how they could prepare so much food. The only problem was that Mirelle and I had to shout at each other to make ourselves heard over the other kids, who were also shouting.

"So which songs will we do?!" I bellowed as she ate her chicken drumstick. She swallowed, and shouted, "What's your favorite band?"

"Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers!" I answered. She stared at me in disbelief. "Are you serious?!" she asked. I nodded. "That is so weird!" she said. "Mine is Fleetwood Mac!"

I stared at her. "Tom and Stevie Nicks did a duet together!" I told her. She nodded. "I know!" she said.

"What's your favorite song?" I asked.

"'Dreams'!" she replied. "What's yours?"

"'The Waiting'!" I said.

"That's perfect!" she practically screamed. "We can do a duet!"

"Brilliant!" I praised. I thought for a moment. "But what duet will we do, though? They did three." We thought for a minute, then decided on "I Will Run to You", a not-so-well-known song.

Lunch passed quickly. Potions was next, a perfect opportunity for our plan, since Mirelle and I had that class together. After the puddings vanished from the golden dishes, we walked out of the Great Hall, down several flights of stairs, to the Dungeons. To my disappointment, we had double-potions with the Slytherin third-years.

"Ugh," I groaned, frowning. "Why must they do this to us?" I complained. "We just ate!" Mirelle barely restrained herself from laughing.

We took our seats in the second row from the front which, unfortunately, happened to be the seat next to the infamous Draco Malfoy. I didn't mind this so much, actually. But as the other students took their seats, I decided to poke him a little (using my Muggle genius, of course!).

I leaned over in my seat towards him. He was looking straight ahead at Snape's desk, almost like a statue.

"Hey Malfoy," I whispered. "Malfoy!" He turned his head to me, and grimaced, as if he smelled something bad.

"Are you speaking to me, you filthy Mudblood?" he hissed. I rolled my eyes, unaffected by his comment.

"You know, Malfoy," I rebounded, still looking to the sky, "that word really loses its flair over the years." He drew back slightly, surprised. "Anyway," I continued, "I wanted to ask you, is it true that you really have a 'thing' for Hermione Granger?"

Malfoy's eyes widened tremendously. "Where'd you get that idea you sick Mudblood?!" he spat.

I shrugged. "I guess not," I confirmed. I thought of something else. "What about that rumor that you had a crush on Potter?" I felt a wave of satisfaction crash over me, for at that moment, Malfoy's face contorted into an expression of pure rage and embarrassment. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He was speechless. I was satisfied.

Just then, the great Professor Snape walked into the room, and we were plunged into forty minutes of boredom.

We were working on an advanced healing potion today, and I was just peeling my dandelion roots when Snape went into his ingredients closet, apparently searching for some ingredient. Mirelle nudged me with her elbow. It was time to launch.

I started to sing Tom Petty's part of the song:

_One so young, so changed,_

_Should not be left alone._

_Two in love should confess_

_And not be left alone._

Snape whirled around in his closet, dislocating some jars of slimy things on his shelves, trying to find the source of the song. The Ravenclaws giggled. The Slytherins, as they always did, looked disgusted. Snape scanned the class, then went back to his ingredients.

Mirelle came in with me with Stevie Nicks' harmony in the chorus:

_And I will run to you,_

_Down whatever road you choose._

_Yes I will follow you down,_

_I will run to you._

The whole Ravenclaw House burst out in laughter.

"Silence!" Snape said loudly, turning around again. He resumed his ingredient-work. Mirelle went on with the song, singing Stevie:

_You've had time, come around._

_Will you please make up your mind?_

_I stand accused, on trial._

_Will you please make up your mind?_

Snape turned around, but we didn't bother to stop. We came in with the chorus, but this time, most of the Ravenclaws came in, too. Even some of the Slytherins came in:

_And I will run to you,_

_Down whatever road you choose._

_Yes I will follow you down,_

_I will run to you._

Everyone shouted out the last line.

"THAT'S IT!" Snape practically screamed. "Andrews!" he shouted in my direction, "meet me in my office for detention after last period." I frowned. You have no sense of humor, I thought.

After last period, I went to detention, where I had to grade papers for at least two hours (I tried to give Malfoy's essay an F+, but Snape caught me and walloped me over the head with a textbook).

Mirelle met me outside Snape's office to pick me up. "Bored?" she asked, seeing the brain-dead expression on my face. I nodded. "Well, come on," she said, pushing me forwards, "We'll be late for dinner."

Good, I thought. I'm starving.

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	3. The Snape Annoyers Club

**Soooo SORRY it took so long to update. I was uber (lol) busy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hogwarts or any of the Harry Potter characters. Only Mirelle and Mary Jane.**

The next few months passed quickly, with no Bothering of Snape whatsoever (unfortunately), and before we knew it, it was the Christmas Holidays.

"Yay!" Mirelle exclaimed in the Great Hall on the first day of our break. The whole school seemed abandoned, since most of the kids had gone home for Christmas. "Three weeks of no school and no one to bother us!"

"Yeah, but Malfoy and his henchmen are still here," I reminded her.

"Oh, Malfoy's easy," she said, dismissing the thought. "Oh, by the way, are you still going to ask your mum for your camera back home?"

"Oh yeah," I said. I had thought about owling my mom a letter asking her to send my camcorder here so we could film ourselves (and Snape). "I already sent her a letter."

"That's good," Mirelle said. "We need to film dear Snape, don't we?"

We had planned to annoy Snape over the holidays, but we really had no idea how. Our answer came in the shape of a couple of white berries above our heads.

"Mistletoe!" I said, reaching up and plucking a couple of the berries. "That's perfect! We can make them bloom above his head—"

"—when he's with Dumbledore!" Mirelle finished for me. I shook my head in disbelief. "You have a sick mind, you know that?" I told her. She just shrugged, still smiling.

A few days later, after I had received my camera, we found our opportunity to carry out our scheme. Snape was talking to Professor Sprout—a perfect pair. Mirelle and I—aided with our wands and my camera—once more crept behind a pillar-ish torch object to hide. I handed my camera over to Mirelle and told her to start filming. Once she hit the "Record" button, I took out my wand, pointed it above the couple's heads, and muttered, "_Mistberrial._"

At once, a little mistletoe plant started to bloom above the professors' heads. "Are you getting this?" I whispered to Mirelle. She nodded, her eye still fixed onto the small digital screen of the camera. The plant grew bigger and bigger, until the little clumps of berries almost touched Snape's head. The branches must have caught their attention, for Snape looked up, and saw a huge bunch of mistletoe above his head. I almost died of restrained laughter at that moment.

Snape stared at the plant. It was growing bigger by the second. Sprout looked at it thoughtfully, as though she were used to this sort of thing happening. Then Mirelle blurted out, "Professor Sprout, could you please explain to us what kind of odd herb is blooming above your head there?" We both lost it then. We fell to the ground, laughing so hard out ribs hurt.

Snape stormed over to where we were laying. "How dare you do that to me!" he yelled at us, which only made us laugh more. "W-we take dares, Professor!" I gasped out, nearly hyperventilating. I glanced over to my camera; Mirelle had it focused on Snape's face, and it was zoomed in on his nose.

I laughed so hard then.

Mirelle took up my defense. "What are you going to do, give us detention? It's the holidays, for Pete's sake!" Snape puffed out his chest a bit, then stormed off again. We stopped laughing, then got up on our feet. Our mistletoe was still there, its branches almost touching the floor. I pointed my wand at it and said, "Accio Mistletoe." The plant zoomed over into my hands. I turned it over a couple times, and said, "I'm putting this in a museum." Mirelle laughed. "You want to see the video?" she offered.

"Oh yeah!" I said. Mirelle hit the replay button, and we watched the whole thing. When I saw Snape's nose close up, I started to laugh again.

Mirelle patted me on the back. "We should put this on…oh, what's that website you told me about?" She tried to remember. "'You—' something."

"Youtube?" I said.

"Yeah, that's the one," she said. "We should call the video, 'Snape and Sprout vs. Mistletoe' or something."

My face lit up. "You know, Ellie," I said, "what I forgot to tell you when I got the camera is that I asked my mom to send my laptop with it."

Her eyes became wide. "You mean we have web access here?" I nodded. "Let's go!" We ran off to the common room.

We got inside the Ravenclaw common room and dug my laptop out of my backpack. We got onto all right, but unfortunately, I didn't have a youtube account. So we made one up right there. We called it "snapeannoyersclub", and we posted the video on the site.

A few hours later, we went down to the Great Hall to have lunch. There was almost no one there, only the Golden Trio, Fred and George Weasley, and Ginny Weasley. The only other people there were Malfoy and his cronies.

We sat at the Gryffindor table. "Hey, Ellie, MJ," George—or was it Fred?—greeted us.

I took out my laptop, which I had been carrying in a messenger bag. I turned it on and immediately went to youtube to check our channel. One of the Twins leaned over to see.

"What's that?" he asked. I ignored the question and said, "Want to join the Snape Annoyers Club?"

The other Twin came over. "Ooh," he said, "that sounds like fun. What do you do?"

"Well," I explained, "basically you annoy Snape, and you make a movie of him versus the annoyance."

Twin #1 looked confused. "What's a movie?" he asked. I laughed. "It's just like a wizard photograph, it moves, only it requires a lot more technology. It's a Muggle thing," I added.

"Sounds great to me," Twin #2 said. "But it sounds like there's a catch. What does this…black foldable thingy have to do with this?"

"When you make a video," I continued, "you have to—well, this is optional—you post the video of the Annoyance onto a Muggle internet website called . There, other people can see it and loath Snape."

"Anything with the words 'loath Snape' in it, I'm in," Twin #2 said.

"So am I," Twin #1 joined. "When do we start?"

"As soon as you get an opportunity to annoy him," I said. "Ellie and I already posted a video on the site."

"Can we see it?" the Twins asked in unison. I nodded, and searched for the video on youtube. I found our channel, and pressed the play button on the featured video. All the Gryffindors leaned in to see the screen; the video was entitled "Snape and Sprout: Newfound Love". When the mistletoe began to sprout, everyone started to laugh. Hermione (who would have thought?) shushed them and we continued to watch.

The close-up shot of Snape's nose was impossible not to laugh at. "Is that a hair?" Harry said, pointing at a little black thing in the middle of the screen. I waved his hand away. The video ended, and everyone laughed loudly.

"I wonder how many views there are?" Mirelle said. "Scroll down, MJ. I want to see." So I scrolled down to the views and comments, and was astonished to find it had already drawn 3,000 views and 24 comments.

"What the…" I trailed off. Our rating was 5 stars: the maximum.

"We're famous!" Mirelle just about shouted. I scrolled down to the comments to read them.

"Listen, listen," I said, and I started to read a comment out loud:

"_Whoa, SS and Sprout?! Great combo! 5 stars to you!_

_I want to join the club!"_

"This is fantastic!" Ron said. "Sign me up!"

"Me too," Harry said. "If you don't I'll hex you."

"Great!" I said. I looked over at Hermione. "How about you?"

"Er…" she muttered nervously. "I'm not sure…"

"Oh, come on, Granger!" Twin #2—who I guess was Fred—demanded. "You might as well loosen up a bit."

"Oh, all right," she finally agreed, putting down her Transfiguration book. "Put my name down."

"Yes!" I said. I clicked the "Description" button to write a description. I read while I typed:

"The Snape Annoyers Club was founded when two Hogwarts students got fed up with their potions master and decided to pay him back for his ignorance and stupidity—"

"But what if the Professor finds that?" Hermione asked.

"Who cares?" Mirelle said. "Anyway, it's a fact, and we must not tell lies, right?" She winked at me. I smiled and continued:

"—and stupidity. Therefore we, the Hogwartians, hereby announce war on Professor Severus Snape.—" "Alright!" Fred interjected. "—The members of the SAC are:

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Hermione Granger

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

Mirelle Landers

And Mary-Jane Andrews

We all hope that this channel satisfies that hunger for revenge that all of you have for Professor Snape. Thanks for viewing!"

"This is great," Harry said. "Now we can have a reason to annoy him."

"Okay," I said, "now that we're officially the SAC, I think we should each have a camera. Only I have just one camera so—"

"No problem, my dear," George interrupted. He put out his hand. "May I see your camera?" he asked. I pulled it out of my messenger bag and laid it on his palm. He took out his wand, pointed it at the camera, and said, "_Geminio." _At once, another camcorder appeared on the table.

"Wow!" I said, studying the camera. After confirming that it worked, I said, "Thanks, George!" I handed it back to him.

"You're welcome," he said. "Now I guess everybody gets one to use at the opportune moment. Here—" he duplicated five more "—that should do it." He passed them out to everyone.

"Now remember this," I started to say, "its power supply can only last so long, so I'll bring the charger here for duplication later. And the memory stick—that's the thing in here that holds the movies—it can only hold a couple of hours worth of movies, so when the memory's almost finished, you can bring it to me so I can transfer the movies onto my computer." Everyone nodded.

"And now," Ron said, "let's eat." And we spent the next half-hour eating lunch and talking about our new organization.

**YAY! Please PLEASE review! Ya know ya want to. * wink wink nudge nudge***


	4. Strange Members, New Ideas

**Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter. Just any character that aren't in the real books.**

Chapter 4: Strange Members, New Ideas

After lunch, we all went our separate ways to film stuff. Mirelle and I made an introductory video giving a tour of Hogwarts. We decided to make one of Hogsmeade the next time the trip came.

Sadly, no opportunities to annoy Snape came our way for the rest of the day. When dinner came, I brought my laptop so everyone could download their movies. I also brought the charger to duplicate.

Fred and George showed their videos first. "It's not about Snape," they explained. "It's a typical afternoon in the life of Percy Weasley."

So they downloaded it onto the computer, and we watched as the screen portrayed the life of the Weasley prefect. It was so boring it was actually funny. We watched as Percy patrolled the halls for troublemakers, as he acted very pompous-like to one of the professors, and as he entered a broom closet with the Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope Clearwater.

"That is just wrong!" Mirelle said as the closet door closed on screen. "You're spying on him in his private moments!"

"What?" Fred argued. "It's the most exciting part in the entire movie!"

"Fred wins," I said, jabbing my thumb at him. "I think it's youtube worthy. And besides, that was the most exciting part of the movie." I winked at him. So we flagged it as a youtube video.

Harry was next. He downloaded his film onto the computer, and he told us that it was about the people of the school. We laughed as Professor McGonagall wagged her finger at the camera, and as she gave in and started posing ridiculously for the movie. We watched as Hagrid waved and asked what Harry was holding. After that, Harry had filmed all the ghosts of the school, including the Bloody Baron and Peeves, who had thrown peanuts at him. The film ended with a shot of broken nutshells.

"I think it's fine," Mirelle said, sitting on the table. "I think it gives a pretty good summary of the school's community."

"I agree," Hermione seconded.

"And I like the peanuts at the end," George added.

"Okay, then," I said, flagging the video, "to youtube it goes."

Mirelle and I showed ours next. Everyone thought it was good, so we flagged it.

Hermione went next. She said that her movie was about the library and its inhabitants. Madame Pince, the bookkeeper, danced across the screen, waving her feather duster at anyone who dared to even glance at the Restricted Section. We could not believe the number of bookworms who were in the school.

"Youtube worthy," the whole group said. I flagged it.

Ron's was last. He had made a film about the outside of Hogwarts, such as the grounds, Hagrid's hut, and the Forbidden Forest, even though he didn't go inside. We were surprised, since we didn't think he was such an outside person. Once again, youtube worthy.

We downloaded all the movies to , but unfortunately, at that particular moment, Draco Malfoy came striding over to our table. For some reason, his henchmen were not with him.

"Hey, Dragon," I greeted. "What happened to your friends?"

"Bad flu," he said, in his usual snotty manner.

"Hm," I said. "I won't say I'm sorry." I heard him mutter something under his breath. "What, you're not going to call me a Mudblood today?" I asked him mockingly. He grumbled. "I would if it did anything to you," he explained. He seemed surprisingly sullen today.

"What's that?" he asked, shoving his way towards the computer. We were still on our youtube channel, checking our views and ratings for our new videos.

"Oh, just something we did," Mirelle answered. "It's a little thing we have on the internet where we put movies—those are moving pictures—for other people to see. We call ourselves SAC: the Snape Annoyers Club."

"Mm," Malfoy said, nodding in interest. I was surprised that he wasn't Avada Kedavra-ing us all for degrading his favorite teacher. "How do you make the movies?" I held up the camera. He looked at it for a while. "Do they have to be about the Professor or can they be about other things?"

"They can be about different things," Mirelle answered. "We just posted a whole bunch of movies about the school and its community." Malfoy thought this over.

"Can I join?"

All of us just sat there, dumbfounded. Malfoy wanted to join the Club whose goal was to humiliate his favorite teacher? That was a new one.

"I thought Snape was your favorite teacher," Fred said to Malfoy. Malfoy shrugged. "It's just a game I have to play," he explained. "My Father is friends with him, but the attention is fine, too."

"So…you're not going to murder me for saying what I said last time?" I asked hopefully. He turned to me. "I still think you're sick," he told me. Even in those words, it was a relief he wasn't going to use the Cruciatus curse on me.

"So how do I sign up?" he asked again. I had George duplicate a camera again, and I gave it to Malfoy. "Just use this whenever you Annoy Snape, or if you just want to record some stuff that you think is cool," I explained. I went over the camera instructions. "And George is going to duplicate the charger so we can all recharge our cameras when we need to." I did as I had said, and when we finished eating afterwards, everyone, including Malfoy, left with a charger.

After Mirelle and I had made our way back to the common room, we got ready to go to bed. I stayed a while in the bathroom, looking at my reflection in the mirror. What if I changed my appearance to look like…

The Annoy-Snape switch clicked in my brain.

I rushed back into the Girls' dormitory, where Mirelle was reading a book on her bed. "Mirelle," I said. She looked up. "Do you know a color changing charm?"

She nodded. "Yeah," she said. "Why?"

"Dye my hair black."

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